Testimonies

Doreen Lynas

Knowing Jesus in my life

When Erik, our Vicar, asked me to talk about 'Knowing Jesus in my life', the first thought that came into my head was 'What if I hadn't known Jesus'. As Christians we shouldn't dwell on the past but sometimes hindsight can be very helpful, especially when we think of our Christian journey.

I was born and brought up at Brambles Farm which was a brand new council estate surounded by green fields and the church was built in the early years of the development of that estate. The church was at the centre of the community, was well attended as a place of worship and for social gatherings.

Last week I was reading the story of Zaccheus to my 5 year old grandson and he said to me 'I know lots of stories about Jesus Grandma, do you'? That rang bells with me and my childhood. I first went to church when my mother took me to Sunday School as a 3 year old and I have never stopped attending. I suppose my journey started with getting to know all the stories and songs about Jesus. As I got a bit older I was totally involved in church life, I went to church 3 times on a Sunday - morning, afternoon Sunday school, evening service, I went to guides, girls club, teenagers Bible class, over 20's group. When I was 12, I was confirmed. Looking back I realise that all these activities and particularly the people involved in leading them had a real impact on my life and gave me a good grounding in the Christian faith.

I think my teenage years was a critical time for me in that I came into contact with some really mature Christians which in hindsight started me thinking what life was all about.

When I was about 15 I went on a Christian camp run by an organisation University Women's Christian camps for schoolgirls- I don't remember everything but the emphasis seemed to be preparing us for life as Christians. I was trained to be a Sunday School teacher by a lady who had been blind from birth but although she couldn't see me had a very deep insight into my life - she knew, almost without me speaking, what was on my mind - I remember she always managed to get Jesus into any conversation - he was obviously very precious to her. About the same time the leader of the Bible Class which I was now attending had a long chat to me about life and decision-making - she too was a lovely Christian and probably had the greatest influence of anybody on my life - she had something which I wanted, but at that time I didn't know what - we kept in touch until she died a few years ago. I remember thinking my life was O.K. and I was getting a bit tired of all these people going on about life -after all, I thought I was doing the right things to please God.

There have been many other people I could talk about and the help they have given me but I have already passed the three score years and ten referred to in the Bible (Psalm 90:10)and it would take a lot longer that 5 minutes to relate my whole Christian journey.

About 26 years ago we went on the first parish holiday to Bonskeid House in Pitlochry.During one of the evening services, the Holy Spirit was referred to and talked about. At the end of the service our Vicar at the time, Ian Reid, invited anyone who wanted to know more to meet in another room. I am not a person who is easily persuaded to do things without giving it a lot of thought, but being curious and I have to admit a bit sceptical I went along. Ian offered to pray with anyone who wanted to invite the Holy Spirit into their lives - I don't know what happened but I felt compelled to agree to this. It was for me a very emotional moment and I knew that something inside me had changed.

I'm not saying that suddenly my life was perfect and I was immune to the up's and down's of everyday life. I have known deep sadness in my life, things have happened that I would have preferred not to have happened, I've said things and done things that I regret but in all these things I have known the presence of Jesus through the power of His Holy Spirit as a Comforter, as an encourager and a support.

On the programme 'Who want's to be a Millionaire' Chris Tarrant often asks the contestants how much money they would like to win. The answer is often "£32,000 - that would be a life-changing experience for me". I often wonder what they mean by that - probably that they could buy all the things they want , pay off all their debts etc. We read in Acts ch.8 how Simon the sorcerer tried to buy the gift of the Holy Spirit. He seemed intellectually convinced of the gospel but his heart needed to be changed. He was sternly rebuked by Peter for thinking he could buy God's gift with money. The Holy Spirit, just like God's grace is a free gift to any who wish to receive it - for us as Christians He is our life-changing experience.

So back to the original question I set myself - What would my life have been like if I hadn't known Jesus - well I really don't want to go down that road - I wouldn't change the quality of my life which He has given me.

Whilst preparing this talk, I asked myself another question - where am I on my journey now ?

Many years ago a retired Vicar with whom Ian Reid spent his first curacy came to our church to preach. Before he preached he introduced himself to us - I am clergyman, a retired Vicar, but I am not a retired Christian - I am swotting for my finals. I think I have begun to realise what he was saying.

I know that Jesus wants to teach me many more things, I know that I haven't got everything sussed out but I pray that I will allow the Holy Spirit to go on nudging me, maybe pushing me, guiding me in His way - for now I only know in part; then I shall understand fully (1 Cor.13:12).

Lent 2006.